Jereme and I are contemplating putting a patent on this diet plan and making millions....
How to go for 5 days to an all-inclusive resort and still lose 5-10 pounds: Find yourself a great resort. Make sure it is all-inclusive for food and drink. Eat and drink constantly. Even after eating a complete meal, you still must visit the 24-hour VIP lounge for another drink and to make a plate full of "snackies" in case you are still hungry. Stay for 5 days.
On day of departure, wake up and have constant stomach cramping. Try to ignore. For the next 24 hours, double over at the waist b/c of the previously mentioned pain. After 24-hours, assume you have eaten something bad or inadvertantly drank some of Mexico's finest water. Spend the next 24 hours racing to the bathroom while trying to keep 2 busy crawlers out of everything in the house. Lay on couch or bed, have cold sweats and then jump up to run to the bathroom again. Step on scale the next morning and realize you have lost a minimum of 10 pounds. Breathe a sigh of relief that when you pass gas nothing else accompanies it.
Wednesday, Jan 16th, 7:45 AM: Jereme kisses his wife good-bye and says have a great day. Diane replies, oh will you start my car while you are out there (garage a mess, still can't park in it). Jereme looks at Diane still in her jammies and says, you are going someplace? Diane replies indignantly, that yes, she is going to change quickly and run out to get some cold meds for the boys before it begins snowing. 7:50 AM: Diane makes it back to bathroom and looks at hair. Decides she must wet it down and do a quick blow-dry in order to be presentable. 7:55 AM: Wet hair, Diane races to get the boys their juice as they are freaking out in high chairs b/c breakfast is over. 8:15 AM: Diane is ready to leave but remembers she must stop at UPS, put letters in mail, etc. Gets boys out of high chair to play on floor while she finishes up. 8:30 AM: Diane is ready to go. Looks at clock, decides to go after morning naps b/c she knows she will be gone for at least an hour and doesn't want cranky babies in the car who need a nap. 10:05 AM: Diane remembers the car is running.
Shhhhhh, let's not share this one with Jereme.....
That's all I can figure out. All dancing around, acting goofy, surprising with a sudden shot to get a picture with eyes open, halfway smiles and looking in the right direction! Then, that poor photographer had to try and get the kids to cooperate, too. I think she must've needed a drink after dealing with Jereme and me and our inability to take photos with our eyes open and looking the right way! After what seemed like 15,000 shots, we finally got one with everyone's eyes open and even smiles! Here are a few of the pics we recently had taken....
I should've done it sooner. Swallowing your pride and calling your sis-in-law to admit that you are technologically retarded (I cringe to use that word, but these are words Websters provides as synonyms and they are applicable backward, disabled, handicapped) is not an easy thing to do. After weeks on end of not knowing my camera was broke, ordering a new one only to find my docking station was broke and now how the heck was I going to get pics off the camera, I called Cricket. Lo and behold, did you know that you can get your pics off a camera with just a stinkin' USB cord? Oh, you did? Well, I was so excited that I didn't have to go buy a new docking station that it almost brought a tear to my eye. So, now I will fill this blog with some new pics!
Babies don't belong in mom and dad's bed. Well, let me rephrase that, OUR babies don't belong in our bed. I know several of you who do this but seriously, this will not work for me! Jereme arrived home late, late last night. I haven't heard a peep out of the boys while he has been gone at night. We were just drifting off to sleep about 1215 AM and about 115 AM we hear our two little devils SCREAMING! I lay there pretending I don't hear it while Jereme asks me what are we going to do. Resisting the urge to punch him in the gut since he has been gone for 4 days, I use my fake, nice voice and say, well guess we better go get them. We calm them down but take them to bed with us. Yes, they slept marvelously but for some reason, maybe it was the constant squirming in sleep, the fact that they are furnaces or maybe it was Isaac snoring or that Jorden slaps people in his sleep, but mom and dad did not sleep. Boys, you better sleep tonight b/c there will be no rescue...it's amazing how much noise you can filter out with a pillow over your head..............
I am still awaiting my new camera to arrive so I can download my pics. Kodak informed me that my camera was dead so I did what I do best....shop online!!! Soon, very soon, I promise!
I have told many, I am finally putting on my "big-girl panties" and learning to deal with 2 infants all on my own. Jereme is gone to St. Louis for the week. As much as I stomped my feet about this, he still went. Things have gone well, so far. But, "Mimi" (Grandma) Judy told Isaac to be a good boy for his momma and he laughed and giggled with the devil in his eye. Many of you have seen that look from my wild child.
Fun things the boys are doing:
*Eating all sorts of table food. Gone are my drama queens who would gag themselves if you put a teeny-tiny bite of food on their tongue. We are into grilled cheese, ham, mac/cheese, grapes, carrots and from their daddy chocolate cake/ice cream.
*Ripping up any book, newspaper that might be within their reach. Even if it isn't in their reach, they manage to find a way to get it.
*Cracking up at each other. Both boys will watch what the other is doing and often laugh hysterically. I swear, they are talking to one another. They converse back and forth if left alone. Then, Isaac will laugh like a crazed person. Scares me a little, to be honest.
*Attempting to crawl. God's gift to me with twins must be good sleepers and late crawlers. My days are about to get BUSY BUSY!
We haven't met any of our neighbors yet. We apparently have some shady characters in our area...their easy to identify. Their homes are decorated in crimson and blue. Plenty of purple to be found in our area, though. God is good!
On to my soapbox for just a brief moment... If you're a parent, grandparent, whatever, I HIGHLY recommend picking up John Rosemond's book below. I just finished it. He is my type of guy. No nonsense, old-fashioned and just lays it out on the line. No post-modern psychology about how to understand your children, reason with them, etc. Just common sense stuff that has been used for centuries on end until the past few decades. Excellent read!
Ok, off my soapbox and back to the trenches of poopy diapers and dancing like a crazed person to get some smiles from Isaac and Jorden. Once upon a time, I didn't care what most people thought and here I am trying to feel good about myself by getting 9-month-olds to laugh at me. Sad, but true.