*Put on my fave unders. That would be MY fave, not Jereme's. Awhile back, alright fine a few YEARS back, Target had these awesome black hipster Hanes unders. I bought a 3-pack and loved them dearly. I was down to one final pair. Noticed a slight tear in the seam as I pulled them on. No biggie, right? Right.
*Broke up 599 fights.
*Continued on with my decluttering of our house event. Emptied out all the spices in the cabinet. The picture below shows all the expired items in my cabinet. And by expired I mean several of them had "Use by April 2002" on them. Contemplated that. Huh. I would've bought that probably when we lived in KC. Soooo, essentially that means, I moved them from KC to the rental house in Pratt then to the home we bought in Pratt then to Salina and now to Clay Center. Neato.
*Husband says at 4 pm, "we're going to the game (KSU) tonight still, right?" We've had a boy on a horrendous (and expensive I might add) breathing treatment schedule. Me, "Um, yes, of course, I totally planned on that." Race back to my room, put some make-up on. Realize I didn't get very far on the laundry but dang that spice cabinet looks good! Throw on some old jeans and a ball cap. We are good to go!
*Beg hubs to let me run into super nice store in Manhattan for a couple things. Stand behind a mom asking her approx 5 year old if she can borrow $2 and pay him back on Friday when she gets her paycheck. Work hard to not be judgmental. Hey, I don't know their situation. Conjure up all sorts of hardships they must be facing and contemplate offering her the $2 myself. Watch as her son reluctantly hands over the $2 and she purchases her one item. A pack of cigs. Yep, you got it. She borrowed $2 from her son for 3 days to get her smokes. Neato again.
*Think about telling Jereme about the bottle of lemon juice I found crammed in the cabinet that expired in 2006 and resembled moldy, chunky, cottage cheese. Decide against it.
*Take my sweet toddler to the bathroom for at least the 23rd time during the game. Of course we have to cram ourselves into one stall not made for a mother and her son. Luke tinkles. Momma tinkles. Luke opens door. I quickly and apparently roughly reach to pull up my unders. Remember the ones I picked this morning? Well, wouldn't you know it, my thumb catches it and rips out approx 5 inches of my underwear from my waistband.
*Stand in stall. What's a girl to do now? Attempt to rip the underwear completely apart and off. Doesn't work. Try to carefully put half off underwear all tucked back into my pants.
*Step out and truly look in mirror for first time since we left home. Are those "mom jeans" I am wearing? Really?? Try to remember when I bought them. 2001 possibly. Turn in mirror. Are they faded out denim? Check. Do they go almost up to my belly button? Check. Are they cute in any way? No. Do they fit more like mens jeans of the late 90s? Check. Oh holy crap, I AM wearing mom jeans.
*Crawl into bed that night. Feel something jabbing my shoulder. Find a naked Cinderella doll. Look at it. Think, "that's the least unusual thing about today" and toss her on to a nice soft mountain of laundry.
THE END.
6 comments:
Great story...made me smile!
Oh how I love that post...can SO relate!!!! I found our cat in the fridge the other day (he hadnt been there very long, thank goodness) and it concerned me when I realized that I didnt find it odd or shocking that a cat was in our fridge! Life with kiddos! Hope the breathing treatments are helping! :(
Karen L
This made me laugh :) Thank you for keeping it real :)
Cracking up! Look at the positive, you are fitting in jeans from 2001....that would be success for me!
Hilarious!!
Loved it! I love your sense of humor! :)
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